getting off

You claimed you were always getting people off
They’d walk free
But your courtroom choreography didn’t work on me
Your violent slurs hurled in my direction
Lips oozing evil
Hands like bricks on my chest

I felt you for days after
Sometimes I still feel you now 
The next asked why I flinch with every touch 
“It’s not on purpose” I whispered

You claimed you were always getting people off
My eyes closed, rolled back 
Not in ecstasy 
Teetering unconsciousness, wanting to be gone

I’m not even sure you know 
That I didn’t want it 
Even after I said no
When you forced me again, laughing

You claimed you were always getting people off 
“He was guilty but I spun the story” 
Would anyone believe my story? 
I see people love you on the internet 
Would they care if they knew?

I felt minutes tick by like hours 
Silently pleading for an end 
I went limp 
Left my body for a little while

You claimed you were always getting people off 
Do you do this all the time? 
Or just because you’d “had your eye on” me? 
If I stay quiet, am I giving you permission to wring someone else’s neck?

I wrestle with my silence 
Wanting to warn 
Stop further bruises 
But I’m scared of your voice

I know you’d get off for what you did to me